I’m not saying I’ve done all these things… at least not all of them today
1. Slice your fingers along with a tomato.
2. Slam the utensil drawer on your hand.
3. Hit the side of your head on the pantry door.
4. Catch your hair on fire as you light birthday candles.
5. Boil some eggs until the pan is completely dry, then race up to the stove just as the eggs explode.
6. Reach over the pressure cooker in order to grab something behind it and hit the steam thingy with your arm.
7. Reach into the back of a pantry shelf only to remember that you hid the sharp knives in a basket back there to keep them away from your grandchildren.
8. Knock a can of refried beans or a jar of spaghetti sauce, or a rolling pin from the counter top onto your bare feet.
9. Place a pot roast in an unstable position in your freezer so that when you open the door it will slide out and hit your (again) bare feet.
10. Stuff the top shelf of your pantry so full that the kingsize box of fruit snacks pops out and falls out onto your head.
11. Slip on your area rug and fall head first onto the wood (or tile) floor.
12. Sit down in a kitchen chair without checking to make sure it is still there.
Any you’d like to add?