HA HA . . POOR TESS–THOUGHT I’D SAVE THIS ON MY BLOG

I bought a couple of pairs of reading glasses at the dollar store recently and a couple of pairs of sunglasses. Because the store was low on inventory, one pair had leopard handles and was a little “out there”—not really my style, but hey, the price was right. I decided I’d leave that pair in my car and just use them when it got too sunny. Well, yesterday when I took my seven-year-old granddaughter on an errand, I spotted those glasses and admitted to myself that they were probably a little over-the-top for me and more a “fun” style of sunglasses that a kid would wear. “If you want these glasses you can have them,” I said, handing them back to her. “Here, try them on and see if you like them.”

There was a long silence.“What do you think?” I asked.

“They’re . . . . ummmm . . . a little blurry,” she said.

“They are?”

I looked back and realized I’d gotten confused. The leopard glasses weren’t sunglasses; they were reading glasses 200+. I’m still laughing at the sight of Tessa staring at me through those glasses  with enlarged, magnified eyes—all polite and cooperative, but confused. Okay, maybe you had to be there.

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A dozen original and not so original ways to injure yourself in a kitchen

I’m not saying I’ve done all these things… at least not all of them today

1. Slice your fingers along with a tomato.

2.  Slam the utensil drawer on your hand.

3. Hit the side of your head on the pantry door.

4. Catch your hair on fire as you light birthday candles.

5. Boil some eggs until the pan is completely dry, then race up to the stove just as the eggs explode.

6.  Reach over the pressure cooker in order to grab something behind it and hit the steam thingy with your arm.

7.  Reach into the back of a pantry shelf only to remember that you hid the sharp knives in a basket back there to keep them away from your grandchildren.

8.  Knock a can of refried beans or a jar of spaghetti sauce, or a rolling pin from the counter top onto your bare feet.

9. Place a pot roast in an unstable position in your freezer so that when you open the door it will slide out and hit your (again) bare feet.

10. Stuff the top shelf of your pantry so full that the kingsize box of fruit snacks pops out and falls out onto your head.

11. Slip on your area rug and fall head first onto the wood (or tile) floor.

12. Sit down in a kitchen chair without checking to make sure it is still there.

Any you’d like to add?