I got this letter today  addressed to my toy/book business:

This notice certifies that our funding department has already approved you for up to $250,000 in business working capital.

There are no restrictions on the use of these funds and your approval is GUARANTEED. These funds are being reserved for you until August . .

Included is a check for $64,532.56.

I am ecstatic. I may finally have made some money.
But the letter continues:

With our unique financing program you can access the working capital you need now, and pay us back from your future sales.

Wait.. . .

Pay us back?

Oh snap. There’s always a stupid hitch.