I don’t like movies about monsters or fighting and when my husband said he wanted to see The Hobbit, I was actually relieved. Even though I knew this story was related to The Lord of the Rings trilogy— movies that to me have far too few lovely or romantic scenes in ratio to the fighting, I’d heard The Hobbit was a prequel to these movies. This, I assumed and hoped, meant that the story took place before the orcs with their nasty teeth were on earth or I mean inner earth and hopefully before any monsters were there. I sincerely thought there was a real possibility, considering its title, that this story would focus more on the family life of some hobbits and mostly take place in their quaint cave houses. In other words, I thought this might be somewhat of a chick flick.
Well, the movie started off great—inside a cozy little hobbit house. But then some guests arrived and it went downhill from there. I soon discovered that the orcs were apparently already around then too and, considering how rotten their teeth already were, had been around for quite a while. And I’d totally forgotten about their wolf-type snarling pets. But that wasn’t all. Oh no. To my disappointment, other gross monsters made their appearances as well in The Hobbit. Here are some I remember:
1. That creepy dual personality character I found so hard to take in the other movies, whose name I can’t think of right now and don’t care to remember
2. Rock giants—huge parts of mountains that came to life and were anxious to cream anyone climbing them
3. Slobbery trolls who liked to eat just about anything and anybody handy
4. An extremely obese orc king type character with a huge goiter
5. A giant albino orc and his ferocious wolf-type pet
Let me be quick to add, that these creatures had equally nasty dispositions. We’re not just judging by appearance or rotten teeth here.
To be fair, there were some nice and admirable characters in this movie as well. The main character turned out to be an honorable and courageous hobbit; and wise and good Gondolf had some pithy lines as usual, one in particular about goodness I want to get a copy of. Speaking of good, it did, once again, prevail, or at least looked like it might eventually. And maybe that’s why my husband likes these kinds of movies so much and raved about it as we exited the theater.
“I’m glad you liked it,” I responded, and I sincerely was glad. The guy works hard and deserves to take a break and have what he considers to be some fun once in a while. As for me I just wanted to stop and get some floss and extra toothpaste. “Tomorrow, I’m going to make some dental appointments for us,” I said.